“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” --Epictetus

Epictetus is one of the most influential Stoic philosophers.  The quote above is wonderful and I recently found the advice refined by, of all people, Arnold Schwarzenegger in his recent book, Be Useful.  I’ll get to that in a minute.

Goals are wonderful ways of working through sobriety.  The most common and unitary is the day.  Just getting through another day sober is huge and it is vital.  Relapse into active addiction re-sets a lot of progress and puts us addicts in very significant danger of never coming back.  The goal of a recovering alcoholic and addict should always be to get through another 24 hours sober.  

Stacking another day is great, but just putting day after day isn’t necessarily the recipe for a joyful recovery.  My belief is that a meaningful and enjoyable sobriety is better insurance against relapse than simply trudging through life, sober but miserable.  Controversial opinion, huh?

So, what in your mind’s eye do you see for yourself in life?  What are you working toward?  What do you want?  Epictetus tells us to start there and we will be able to intuit how to get there.  That’s certainly not easy and I do mean it when I say Schwarzenegger’s recent book really extrapolated on this.  Surprisingly, too, Schwarzenegger discusses in his book the words and works of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, who, along with Epictetus, form the Big 3 of Stoic Philosophy.

Schwarzenegger’s book discusses breaking large goals into smaller components of that goal and working logically from beginning to end to reach that goal.  I found the advice very helpful and practical, even though it was not about recovery from addiction in particular.

But let’s return to recovery from addiction.  The primary goal in recovery is to not relapse---to stay sober.  When that goal is envisioned and articulated, I think it becomes easier to grasp, by seeing it in one’s mind.  What do you, Dear Reader, see when you imagine your life in recovery?  Do you see yourself preparing a meal for your spouse?  Playing ball with your kids?  Being congratulated for a job well done at work?  Good, fantastic!  Your mind is telling you what you want.  Think deeper.  What would have to happen to make this possible?  What are the steps just before that goal?  The steps before that?  What would be the next step?  This may sound trite, but if you can see it, you can be it.

There will be pitfalls.  There will be difficulties.  You may be tempted to give up, throw away your progress, and return to your addiction.  That’s life, particularly life in recovery.  You’re likely to need help and I think you may find it in the philosophy of the Stoics.  They teach that life is hard.  They also teach the critical survival skill of identifying the things that are in your control and the things that are not.  The next step after that is to shed yourself of anxiety of the things you cannot control and to devote your entire focus to the things that you can.  How different is this than the Serenity Prayer, so often recited aloud in 12-step meetings:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  That’s Stoicism

Stoicism is a more intellectual than spiritual approach to better living.  In that way, I think it offers an alternative to people who are alienated by the spiritual aspect of AA and NA.  I have always felt the philosophy of Stoicism is entirely compatible with 12-step work and I never encountered any tension between the two.  Again, I’m not suggesting people avoid 12-step programs and embrace Stoicism instead.  They can be done together or separately and I’d never recommend someone leave their program or sponsor, particularly when it’s working.  I do continue to believe, though, that one’s sobriety and program can be improved with philosophical study and that, Dear Reader, is what I hope to help guide you through.