"No one can lead a happy life if he thinks only of himself and turns everything to his own purposes. You should live for the other person if you wish to live for yourself." –Seneca

Seneca understood that the key to true happiness was to subvert self-interest and to live with a view toward service to others.  The quotation above embodies that principle and is an absolutely essential part of recovery from alcoholism and addiction.  It’s the twelfth step of recovery and it’s essential to lasting joy in recovery.

For many of us, alcoholism and addiction cause unadulterated selfishness. We become blind to our obligations to others and thwart our usefulness to others by indulging our addiction.  We become trapped in the concept of “self,” unable to be of any real use to ourselves, let alone others.

Recovery and step work are the process by which we strengthen ourselves to the point we can ultimately lend strength to the similarly afflicted. Service to others is the twelfth and final step of the program because we must have fully recovered in order to teach others and be a good example to others.

“Nemo dat quod non habet” is a Latin maxim that translates to “no one can give what they do not have.”  So, once we have worked the steps, we have the experience and expertise to share what we have learned along the way with others.

In so doing, we necessarily reject the obsession with self.  In meetings, I would frequently hear that it was our obligation once we achieved lasting sobriety to pull the next person aboard our life-raft—to lower the ladder for the next person to scale the wall.  Whichever metaphor you employ, the concept is the same.  We turn our recovery outwards and help the struggling newcomer.  This obligation is incumbent on us, Dear Reader. 

As those who have experienced and survived the diseased thought process of addiction, we are uniquely situated to understand and communicate with people who share the same condition.  This is a mutually beneficial situation.  The newcomer gets to see the possibility of recovery and we get to feel useful and helpful to others. 

The fact is, you don’t need Roman philosophers or The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous to know that it feels good to help people.  What those texts do show us, though, is that it is a critical component of our well-being to be of service to others.  This can take many forms, of course.  It can be as simple as attending a group meeting with the view of providing helpful insight to people who are struggling with their sobriety. It can involve visiting inpatient rehabs to carry the message.  It can involve sponsorship of another.  It can take any number of forms. 

The specific way we provide service to other addicts/alcoholics doesn’t matter nearly as much as simply doing it. It’s also therapeutic for dealing with our own life problems.  When we turn our focus to helping other people through their sobriety, our problems take a backseat for a moment.  Sometimes, just a little time away from dwelling on our problems and ourselves is all it takes for us to make a significant breakthrough in processing our sadness, grief, or anxiety.  As unexpected as it might seem, our ability to work through our problems may depend on our willingness to help others work through theirs.