“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll...

“You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own.  And you know what you know.  And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”  --Dr. Seuss

It’s up to each of us in sobriety to determine our comfort level with certain places and situations.  In early sobriety, it can be very difficult to sort out whether it’s acceptable to go to certain places, particularly those we associate with prior addictive behaviors.  This extends beyond bars, liquor stores, and the like.  Perhaps, like me, you always partook of alcoholic beverages at sporting events.  Or on the golf course.  Or at the movies.  Or at the campsite.  Or at the lake.  Or whatever.  Are these places forbidden to you now in sobriety?  The answer is no.  Or maybe it’s maybe.

For me, in early sobriety, being around drinking was uncomfortable.  I had a strong “Danger Will Robinson” vibe and I didn’t enjoy being around drinking or drinkers.  It took some time for me to get comfortable with where I was at with my sobriety to be around that kind of stuff.  Even now, I do have to do a bit of self-examination before I go to places whose primary purpose is serving alcohol.  If I’m going to a place where alcohol is being served, I need to closely examine my motivations for being there.  If I can’t think of a good reason to go, I don’t.  And, if I can honestly come up with why my presence is needed there, I make sure I have a plan to keep myself right with the situation.  What will I drink?  What will I say if I’m offered?  What will I say if someone asks me why I’m not drinking.  If I get uncomfortable, how am I getting home and what will I say on the way out?  In early sobriety, I needed the answers to those questions in advance because I couldn’t trust myself to have the right answers or impulses by instinct.  Now, with several years of sobriety, I feel a bit more comfortable to say, “I don’t drink.”  If asked why, I can state with confidence that I am in recovery and don’t drink.

The prospect of sobriety can look daunting when we start crossing off all the activities out of our life that we used to associate with alcohol.  But, is that a necessary process?  Ultimately, I think it is not.  I think with time, we can begin to trust ourselves in situations we used to drink in.  I have known several folks in recovery who have re-claimed their passions for bowling, darts, and billiards once they felt confident enough to return to those places in sobriety.  Once we de-associate those pleasures from alcohol, we are likely to find that alcohol did not enhance the enjoyment of those things, but precluded full enjoyment of it.  Consider this:  when you were going to a baseball or football game in active addiction, where was your focus?  How much was left of your drink?  The exorbitant price of a beer?  The inconvenience of getting up and down out of your seat to buy more.  All the peeing?  What were you really there for?  For me, the attraction became the sideshow and the alcohol was the focus.  It took center stage.

In sobriety, I think it’s fair to expect over time that you will learn to appreciate these activities for what they are, irrespective of the alcohol.  You might also find that without a beer, you find baseball dull.  That’s fine.  Do something else!  Your life doesn’t have to look the way it did, just with alcohol removed.  If certain things aren’t fun anymore, don’t do them, or just take a break for a while.  Explore other interests.  In sobriety, I became a lot more willing to try new things.  In addiction, I had no interest in trying new things or going new places, particularly if I knew it was a dry activity.  Now, I feel completely untethered from alcohol to go out and explore interests.  In sobriety, I have learned to really enjoy the outdoors.  To hike, to take nature photos, to kayak, to camp, etc.  Those are just examples, but once we stop selecting our pastimes based on whether they are compatible with drinking, the entire world opens up to us.  We are free to explore.  We can take the time to sit and enjoy a nice view.  To feel the warmth of the sun on our skin.  To experience the sound and feel of the wind.  

There is a big, wonderful, beautiful world out there waiting for you to come and see.  So do.  Dance in the rain.  Break a sweat.  Admire a bird.  Connect with nature and you will connect with yourself.  You’ll realize how precious our time here is.  You won’t want to waste another moment drinking away opportunities to experience the true depth and breadth of humanity.

It’s up to each of us in sobriety to determine our comfort level with certain places and situations.  In early sobriety, it can be very difficult to sort out whether it’s acceptable to go to certain places, particularly those we associate with prior addictive behaviors.  This extends beyond bars, liquor stores, and the like.  Perhaps, like me, you always partook of alcoholic beverages at sporting events.  Or on the golf course.  Or at the movies.  Or at the campsite.  Or at the lake.  Or whatever.  Are these places forbidden to you now in sobriety?  The answer is no.  Or maybe it’s maybe.

For me, in early sobriety, being around drinking was uncomfortable.  I had a strong “Danger Will Robinson” vibe and I didn’t enjoy being around drinking or drinkers.  It took some time for me to get comfortable with where I was at with my sobriety to be around that kind of stuff.  Even now, I do have to do a bit of self-examination before I go to places whose primary purpose is serving alcohol.  If I’m going to a place where alcohol is being served, I need to closely examine my motivations for being there.  If I can’t think of a good reason to go, I don’t.  And, if I can honestly come up with why my presence is needed there, I make sure I have a plan to keep myself right with the situation.  What will I drink?  What will I say if I’m offered?  What will I say if someone asks me why I’m not drinking.  If I get uncomfortable, how am I getting home and what will I say on the way out?  In early sobriety, I needed the answers to those questions in advance because I couldn’t trust myself to have the right answers or impulses by instinct.  Now, with several years of sobriety, I feel a bit more comfortable to say, “I don’t drink.”  If asked why, I can state with confidence that I am in recovery and don’t drink.

The prospect of sobriety can look daunting when we start crossing off all the activities out of our life that we used to associate with alcohol.  But, is that a necessary process?  Ultimately, I think it is not.  I think with time, we can begin to trust ourselves in situations we used to drink in.  I have known several folks in recovery who have re-claimed their passions for bowling, darts, and billiards once they felt confident enough to return to those places in sobriety.  Once we de-associate those pleasures from alcohol, we are likely to find that alcohol did not enhance the enjoyment of those things, but precluded full enjoyment of it.  Consider this:  when you were going to a baseball or football game in active addiction, where was your focus?  How much was left of your drink?  The exorbitant price of a beer?  The inconvenience of getting up and down out of your seat to buy more.  All the peeing?  What were you really there for?  For me, the attraction became the sideshow and the alcohol was the focus.  It took center stage.

In sobriety, I think it’s fair to expect over time that you will learn to appreciate these activities for what they are, irrespective of the alcohol.  You might also find that without a beer, you find baseball dull.  That’s fine.  Do something else!  Your life doesn’t have to look the way it did, just with alcohol removed.  If certain things aren’t fun anymore, don’t do them, or just take a break for a while.  Explore other interests.  In sobriety, I became a lot more willing to try new things.  In addiction, I had no interest in trying new things or going new places, particularly if I knew it was a dry activity.  Now, I feel completely untethered from alcohol to go out and explore interests.  In sobriety, I have learned to really enjoy the outdoors.  To hike, to take nature photos, to kayak, to camp, etc.  Those are just examples, but once we stop selecting our pastimes based on whether they are compatible with drinking, the entire world opens up to us.  We are free to explore.  We can take the time to sit and enjoy a nice view.  To feel the warmth of the sun on our skin.  To experience the sound and feel of the wind.  

There is a big, wonderful, beautiful world out there waiting for you to come and see.  So do.  Dance in the rain.  Break a sweat.  Admire a bird.  Connect with nature and you will connect with yourself.  You’ll realize how precious our time here is.  You won’t want to waste another moment drinking away opportunities to experience the true depth and breadth of humanity.